I find my self in the company of a christian who is continually sharing his faith with me. I clearly state that I am an atheist who subscribes to the teaches of Buddha, and Jesus. I don't believe in salvation because I dont believe in God. I dont recognize a higher power but I do like the idea of Karma based on the science of energy. Science is my savior if I have to pick one. But his reaction when angered by me doesnt say WWJD, is says Im human and Im going to do the human thing and be mad at you.
How did I come to this conclusion? Why do I despise people who preach salvation and forgiveness but treat me like shit????? Well here it is.
Well I was a southern baptist from birth. My grandfather was a preacher and always encouraged me to find the answers for myself in the bible. So I read a lot. I read the bible 5 times before I was 13. I was very interested in the weird things that nobody could explain to me. Stuff like the Nephillim, the Witch of Endor, the Unicorn, the contradictions in Genesis.... they plagued my mind. The more I read the more I cross referenced biblical scholars. The more I found out things that weren't written in the bible. Through High School I maintain my place as Christian Warrior. I fought for God, led bible studies and I would take on men with degrees in theology with my knowledge and they would fall everytime.
Then I went to the Catholic side in my 20's, and in a way I am still Catholic, but only out of an instilled reverence. My mind thinks Catholic, but my heart says there is only science.
Science and my inability to accept things are what pushed me to the point of trusting science over religion and faith.
It wasn't one book, it wasn't in one day. It was over 15 years and hundreds of books. For instance the bible says that the earth is around 6000 years old. Science says the universe is 13 billion years old ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_the_universe)
The earth is 4 billion years old according to science. Now science can show me on paper, physical evidence on how they obtain this date. The bible doesn't. According to biblical scoring the earth is only several thousand years old.
The bible is full of contradictions, ( http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/jim_meritt/bible-contradictions.html ) you can spend hours reading on how the bible is full of incorrect facts. Now don't get me wrong, people need to understand the bible and how it came to be. Scrolls were collected over time, stories told and retold, scrolls rewritten hundreds of times, the scrolls turned into codex then down the line into bibles. Bibles were in latin vulgate in the beginning, then they eventually went into the kings english. During that transfer, things were transposed incorrectly. So "God" may have said one thing but it comes out totally different and somebody is stoned to death or made to endure unspeakable pain for a typo.
My favorite flub in the bible is the tale of Noah. Great story right, wrong it was stolen from Gilgamesh. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilgamesh ) Gilgamesh happened in 2000 bc and Noah in 2900 bc. Gilgamesh happened before Noah. Then people changed the characters and made it about God, as inspiration. This is based on testing of the original scrolls. Science doesn't lie.
How many people have died in the name of science? How many in the name of God? Christians have murdered more people in the name of God than just about any other group of people on earth. Even the Muslims and Islams, they kill for a God that is basically the same as the Jewish God. The same God we share.
Take the time and read through every major religion and its creeds and beliefs and its main characters. There will always be a higher power, there will always be a special person (prophet or messiah) and there will always be promises of a wonderful afterlife if good things are done and pain if they disobey. Its a like Star Wars, Darth Vader is devil, Luke is Jesus, the Force is the Holy Spirit, the dark side is sin. When the Jedi's die they are turned into incorporeal beings - much like in the bible when the spirits rise from the graves and ascend into heaven.
There are many things like these. things that I couldnt sit back and pretend to accept.
But the final straw happened when my son developed Brain Cancer, and everyone used it to condemn me for leaving his mother for another woman. "God was using that cancer to bring them back together", or "God is using the cancer to punish the father for being ungodly". No... my son had a mutated cell in his brain that turned into cancer. Everyday babies are born with cells that are mutating, most die off but some turn into cancer. And my favorite was praying for the hands of the surgeon. He was Indian, and not christian. "God" didn't help him and he was insulted by the thought. He has his own faith but the christians have to tear it down because they are always right! Like when they invade third world countries and offer clothing and food if the people attend church and become saved.... those are called missionaries.
But then my grandfather died. I loved my grandfather more than I ever loved any other adult. He was my best friend, my dad, my spiritual adviser. He lived everyday for the christian god. He would skip out on birthdays and other things for his church. He was there everyday, gave all his money, love and time to people. He would give someone his paycheck if they needed it. If there was a modern day prophet his name was James Lee. I held his head in my arms as they pulled the plug, I cried as he struggled to breath and then he died. He lived everyday for god, and he died like a dog in the desert. Why would a god let his loyal servant die in such a horrible and insulting way??? Why would a kind gentle god let a baby boy have a brain tumor, and have to have 7 surgeries before his first birthday??? Why would a kind and loving god let children die in horrible ways daily????
It was that day that I gave up on any belief on god. And I don't regret it at all. My life is better, fuller and easier. I don't worry about "burning in hell", nor do I care what others think about my actions. Now I have met other atheist who act like they are bob jones cult member, all clean cut and such. But I'm just a perverted foul mouth creature and I enjoy offending people. But I am also very intelligent. I failed the MENSA exam by a few points. What I say about god and science I have read both sides of the arguments, and each time I go with my mind. What makes sense? Someone saying that some dude just pops out of the sky and creates the perfect world and its messed up by one little sin, and then boom, brothers are having sex with mom, brothers are killing each other? The whole worlds population is from incest????? Actual studies have show that the mitochondria of a females eye is in directly relation to that of Africans. So all earth has evolved from black Africans. I find this to be hilarious! All the racist in the world having to accept that their original parents are from Africa!! Evolution started in Africa and we are all brothers in some way or another.
Its a lot to take on. People usually tell me Im stupid and I need to have faith in God.... but Im happy, and continent to be exactly who I am.
Thank you so much for caring, thank you for thinking of me. But leave god at the door, hes not welcomed in my house.
No comments:
Post a Comment